Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Mama's Fears

Last week we went to the zoo, and ventured into a section of the aquatic area that we normally never go. The dolphin death tunnel...

I let the kids run around, but as a rule I do not go in this thing. You're encapsulated by water on all sides and above, and movies have taught us that glass is never truly water tight. I mean you've seen Free Willy right? And Jaws 3?

So why would I let the kids go in if I'm afraid to? Well I guess there's part of me that thinks I shouldn't impart my own fears onto the kids. I mean if they aren't scared, then they are welcome to go in. That doesn't mean I don't stand at the entrance in a runner's stance ready to jump in and grab them when all hell breaks loose.

I'm not a real skeerdy person but like any normal human I have a few fears....

--Water tunnels and the sea life inside of them (even 'cute' dolphins). Sea creatures are terrifying.
-- Plane crashes, super tiny planes and helicopters. I do NOT do well in bad turbulence. Jeremy the frequent flyer is amused by my fear and actually studies black box recordings as a hobby. Ask him once how he accidentally made a mentally handicapped person cry by discussing crash statistics while on a plane. Go ahead ask him. 
-- LARGE things. I mean like supersized ships, skyscrapers, space shuttles. Anything on a ginormous scale makes me shake in my boots a bit. 
-- Covered bridges. No I'm not kidding. 
-- Nose bleeds. I just can't take them. Come to me with an arm lopped off and I'm fine. Don't come to me spewing blood from your nose. I might faint.
-- Losing the kids in a crowded place. Self explanatory.

Things I am NOT scared of....

-- Heights. If I refuse to go to the top of a skyscraper with you, do not be mistaken and think I'm afraid of heights. Refer to the list above. I'm scared of the magnitude and size of the building. And nearby aircraft. 
 -- Bodily functions. Snot, pus, blood, poop, vomit, sputum. Whatever. Unless it's a nose bleed. 
-- Bugs. I could care less about spiders and other bugs. I guess I've got enough 'country' in me that I've seen it all. Not a fan of the praying mantis though cause it's more like an alien than a bug. Do you know they can rotate their head 360? Creepy. 
-- Other creepy crawlies like snakes and mice. I wouldn't love to see a snake in my backyard but I wouldn't lose my head either.
-- The afterlife. I know where I'm headed. 
-- Pain. Bring it. 
-- Shots, needles, IVs, speculums, catheters, colonoscopies, dental drills and titanium screws. I've experienced them all and they were all relatively harmless. 

See. I'm one tough lady. Oh crap....Tessa, a DOLPHIN behind you!!!!

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