Looking at the World Through Red-Blue Glasses

I have written briefly on this blog before about how Tessa has struggled with reading in the past. How first grade was tough for her, and she ended up seeing a reading tutor after school 3 days a week. There have been many updates on that issue and I realize that as I try to re-invigorate the blog, I should probably write about it.

By the end of first grade and after much tutoring, Tessa was *almost* caught up to the reading level of her class. We worked hard on it all summer and she continued to improve. We also chose to move from our private Christian school to our local public school, where she could receive more resources and remediation to help her.

But after the first month or so of school, it was obvious that her reading had plateaued and other subjects were starting to suffer as well. I had that Mommy gut instinct that told me something else was wrong. She's not ADD...could she be dyslexic? Does she have a learning disability?

The awesome thing is that we are SURROUNDED by teachers in our life. We had her tutor as a resource, her grandfather the school superintendent, her grandmother the 40 year teacher, her great aunt the 1st grade teacher, my best friend from middle school the 4th grade teacher, and our small group friends who are amazing home-schoolers. Many conversations, many opinions gathered.

Finally we decided to take her in for extensive vision testing to check on issues like tracking. She had had a normal eye chart test and the Target optical center, but nothing like this. It was 90 minutes of testing her tracking, depth perception, double vision, eye muscle movements. It was intense.

The conclusion was what I had suspected. The reason she hadn't been reading well was because she has two eye disorders, both of which affect the muscle movements of her eyes. The interesting part being that her vision is actually good and doesn't require glasses. But her ability to MOVE her eyes, and move them well together to read across a line of text....was crap.

For the researchers out there that might be interested, the technical words for what she has are binocular dysfunction and oculomotor dysfunction.

These things were causing her not only trouble with reading...but with any kind of crowded paperwork like math sheets, or basic classroom activities like copying from the board. Everything made sense to us. Like finding the missing puzzle piece.

As is often the case with medical things, we quite quickly became immersed in information and facts on her condition. The week after the testing she began and pretty intense 'vision therapy' program that uses both at home computer games and weekly in-office visits with an optometry specialist.

Things have also changed for in the classroom, as we have met with her teacher and the school resource teacher about having accommodations made for her, meaning some things are read out loud to her as well as small changes like bigger computer screens and less homework.

So far she is clicking right along with it. She has been doing the therapy for 9 weeks and is really starting to show some improvement. They tested her again at 8 weeks and while her eye teaming has a ways to go, her depth perception has already improved by 10 TIMES from where it started.

She will continue this for at least 4-6 more months, which means every Wednesday I will pick her up at her school lunch time and truck her over to the optomotrist. Of course once she is seeing better, there will be some ground to make up from the stuff that didn't 'stick' in her earlier grades.

But the great thing is that Tessa has the most amazing team around her. Great teacher, great vision therapist, great tutor, great friends who are encouraging and praying for her, and a Mom who is willing to do whatever it takes.

By the grace of God, we'll get there!  (maybe that should become our new motto?)

Didn't I Used to be a Story Teller?

Just recently someone that I know mostly as an aquaintance asked me if I was ever a writer. The question took me a bit by surprise. Uh no, why do you ask? She said that my facebook statuses were funny and well written and had a writer-esque feel.

That's just those semesters at Purdue studying PR showing themselves. The same kind of engrained stuff that makes me question people based on their apostrophe usage.

But yes, I used to write a blog. This blog. I used to record the silly stories of life at home with two kids. Otherwise forgotten stories like that time that baby Tessa lost her favorite monkey in a California mall, and the time that Charley's post-beet diaper made me think he had internal bleeding.

Looking back lately, you'll see that I've taken a bit of a blog hiatus. Basically all last summer and all fall. I didn't even blog any stories from our trip to Disney. My hiatus started unintentionally as a break, and extended by busyness. Then also became circumstancial. For instance...I don't currently own a working computer. But my husband does and when I can get him away from our in-home office (mostly by means of his almost weekly business trip) I often forget that this is my one chance to type type type.

Fun fact,  did you know that I can type 65 words per minute? And one my phone...I can type 3 words per minute. 

The break was nice, and certainly didn't mean that I didn't flood the internet with pictures and anecdotes about my kids.  But if writing and, in particular, storytelling is what I like to do...well then I should more often! When I can commandeer the computer, that is.

So I've got my cup of coffee and Ben Folds is playing (that's my tried and true thinking music). And here's a little recently story about Charley.

Charley is a worrier. I wouldn't say that he has an overly anxious personality, as he can be a pretty light and bubbly guy most of the times. He's not going to require medication or give himself a stomach ulcer. But he thinks about things carefully before he does them. He is not impulsive or spontaneous like you might expect a 5 year old boy to be.

At conferences this October, his kindergarten teacher said that in her 30 years of teaching, she has very rarely run across a boy like Charley....worried about doing things right, perfectionist about his work, and paranoid that someday he will break a rule in get in trouble. She said he spent a lot of time at her desk reviewing what the rules are, making sure he was in the right. She noted that often little girls can be this way about their first year of school, but not usually the 5 year old boys. 

After that we had a lot of talks with him about not worrying. Once he figured out what the rule of the classroom WERE, he seemed to relax some. I think he just wanted to understand the expectations, being that he's never done this before. He would occasionally report to me that so-and-so had lost recess or been sent to the principal...as if he was taking mental notes on how not to act at school. I told him to chill out about it and just listen to his teacher.

Well two weeks ago he got off the bus and greeted me with "Mom you're going to be mad at me. I got in trouble and there will probably be a note and you will probably be mad."

There was no note from school, but from his stuttery fast paced recounting of the story I finally figured out that he had gotten in trouble in P.E. class. His school is currently under construction so they are walking over the middle school for P.E., where Charley apparently went behind a curtain to get a ball. Behind a curtain he had been told not to go behind, because there was a wrestling team practicing on the other side. 

Charley told me that because of this infraction, the next week when he had P.E., he had to sit in the office. Since I had received no note on the incident, I took him at his word. I assumed that this acted as a sort of 'time out' where he would sit while his class played ball. Works for me.

Charley was emotional and anxious at this thought. The word OFFICE struck fear and confusion. Every morning he would ask me if this was P.E. day. The day he had to go to the OFFICE. Then he would berate me with questions....What will happen there? Where will I sit? Will they send a note? If they send a note, is that really bad? And my favorite....Where is the office again? The answer is, 15 feet from his classroom. 

He stewed over it. 

And since this happened right before Thanksgiving break, he had to stew over it extra. Not just a week but like 11 days. 

Mostly I told him to calm down. If he deserved the punishment, he would serve it as told. And really, sitting in the office isn't that big of a deal. Stop worrying. Put on your shoes, let's go. 

When P.E. day finally came he had succumbed to full acceptance. Putting on his tennis shoes he sighed loudly....Well. I guess I won't need these since I have to sit in the office. *Sigh*

When he got off the bus that day he was all smiles. "Mom you won't believe it. I didn't have to sit in the office at all!". I was confused for a bit then we sorted it out. On the day of the incident where Charley went behind the forbidden wrestling curtain of death, the P.E. teacher had warned him- If you do that again, next time you will be sent the office.  But what Charley heard was- You're in trouble, next time (we have P.E.) you have to go to the office. 

All along. All the 11 days of questioning and stewing. What had been said by the P.E. teacher was a WARNING.

And honestly, I think the 11 days of stewing about it was the perfect punishment for not listening to his P.E. teacher. Rather than worrying about what the rules are, he finally figure it out very clearly. Listen to your teacher. Refuse to listen to your teacher and you might be sent to the OFFICE.  Dun dun dun!

Psychological warfare. Well played, school. Well played. 

Awards and Rewards, and Lack There Of

Way back in Mid-May when it was the last day of school and time for the end-of-year award ceremony, I sat and watched as my first grader left the auditorium without a single ribbon in her hand. She was one of the few in the whole place to not receive something, and I believe the only in her class. 

I made every effort to not become 'that parent' who lodged a complaint about my child be unfairly treated. But I can't lie. I was upset.

This year had been a tough one for Tessa who struggled a lot with reading. She didn't get any ribbons for honor roll, perfect attendance, or book-it. Surprisingly she didn't even get one for citizenship even though her behavior at school had always been top notch to my knowledge. And despite getting an A in Bible class every grading period, she didn't get a Bible award either.

There was nothing for her.

I guess as a parent, the reason that this stung was because she had worked so hard. She began meeting with a reading tutor three times a week after school in March and between then and May was able to improve her reading by SEVEN levels.

I don't care to expound about my feelings about how this could have happened. I have nothing bad to say about the teacher or the school. If anyone cares to sit down with me and a glass of wine, I would tell you how first grade was more difficult than I expected, and how our school choice turned out differently than I expected.

And at the end of that conversation I would tell you that Tessa wasn't upset by her lack of ribbons. She wasn't upset when I told her that she would have to start seeing a tutor because she was reading like a kindergartener. She wasn't upset when she realized that all of that extra work would cut into her time for fun things like gymnastics and TV. She wasn't upset when we told her that we would be moving to a different school that could more appropriately help her.

She stayed resilient and positive.

At camp last week she got the character award for contentment. He camp counselor said she was always happy to go with the flow.

And there I saw what I had been waiting for....someone taking a moment to recognize her for who she really is, and give her an award that matters. 

Of course this summer has not been without other awards and rewards. Tessa got her 5th ribbon for completing her 5th dance recital. Every year she become more grown up and natural onstage, and continues to love dancing.

She also got baptized at the beginning of June, which is an even bigger deal because it comes with the reward of salvation. In our church we wait to baptize kids until they are old enough to understand and choose it on their own. She came to us and asked about it and said she was ready, completely on her own leading. And even though she chickened out when Pastor Doug tried to talk to her onstage in front of the whole congregation, she understood that this makes her a real member of our church.

She even took her first communion that same day. Her rewards that day were bigger than any stupid ribbon.

This summer she is continuing to see her tutor twice a week, who is confident that she will start second grade at grade level standard...which is awesome! In my mind, I like to envision that this school year is going to be a much better and easier one, but of course there is no guarantee of that. In my imagination though, I see her getting ribbons next year at the end-of-year awards ceremony.

And if she doesn't, I have to remember her gift of contentment and remind myself that it doesn't matter. Awards and rewards are only ever as important as you make them.

Room 42, The Final Tour

Our kids will be attending a different elementary school starting next year and the other night we were at Kindergarten round-up for Charley, exploring the place. When Jeremy and I ventured off of the guided tour to check things like the music room and cafeteria, Tessa was highly concerned that we were going to get in trouble for walking around the school. She literally begged us to take her back to the Kindergarten rooms so we didn't get reprimanded.

I can't blame the kid for being a rule follower, I did train her to be that way after all.

After getting frustrated with her begging, my retort to her was simple...."Tessa, I grew up in an elementary school and I say it's fine!"

I guess there's some truth in that. My Mom is now on her 40th and final year of teaching 4th grade. Always in the same school, in room 42, always 4th grade. At least for as long as I can remember.

I was at Hayden Elementary before and after school every day until I was old enough to drive myself. The staff there was more like a group of aunts and uncles than a bunch of random teachers and aides. The building, as familiar as my own house.

I wonder if these are the kinds of things that only a teacher's kid can understand. School, a second home.

What Tessa and Charley may not realize is that they grew up here too...

 

 

So last week on spring break we went down to visit room 42 (since they were in school). We even took Waffle as a special guest. Unless we go out there again to attend a retirement party or help Mom pack boxes, I imagine this will be our last time there.

It's impossible to imagine my Mom no longer being a teacher. I'm sure it's impossible for her as well. But I know she's also excited. Retirement...what every working person is eventually looking ahead to right?

Mom had stationary, a shirt and bag made for this school year that say "Room 42, The Final Tour". Going out in style, just as she should. 

Feeling Spidey

Tessa has been studying spiders all month in first grade and is officially both in love and obsessed with them. Fortunately for her, she had a visual display on spiders do at the end of the month. It could be a poster, pictures, a fake habitat or anything you want.

So while we were home today recovering from illness (and on fall break) we dug out a shoe box, some materials from the yard, glue and paint and went for it.

An old fashioned diorama.

They had to chose a spider type and Tessa chose blue tarantulas. Did you  know there was such a thing? Me neither.

Tarantulas build burrows instead of making webs. Didn't know that either. So we made a little burrow out of a red solo cup, some glue and dirt.

Another thing I didn't know before today was how to spell tarantula. See first grade projects are educational for everyone.

There's our blue tarantula in his burrow with some sand, rocks and other assorted leaves and such all provided by our yard. Gotta love free materials.

Well not totally free....we did buy all of those things aside from the leaves I guess.

I thought we'd be making blue tarantulas out of paper until Tessa told me she had some in her jar of toy spiders.....and I'll be damned, she did! Lucky for us they fit perfectly into our habitat.

Of course she then told me that that was the reason she CHOSE blue tarantulas, because she had some already. And of course I told her she was a genius.

Mom Guilt- We All Have it at Some Point Right?

My kids were great sleepers and still are.

My kids both potty trained easily and early.

My kids are generally well behaved.

My kids have great social skills with other kids and adults.

My kids know a lot about Jesus and the bible.

These are some things that I can count as small victories in our life together so far. I can look to these things and success for me personally as a Mom. I can say...potty training, yes no problem!

But that by no means, NO MEANS implies that we haven't had other struggles. I guess it's bound to happen at some point. There will be something that your kid just does NOT get and you will feel guilty as a Mom...like you've failed them in some way. Be it the potty, or sleeping, or eating properly or in our case, reading.

I'm going to openly confess that I wasted a lot of time when Tessa was 4 and 5 doing other things like playing, painting, watching TV and did not invest very much time in reading at all. She vaguely learned her letters in pre-school and I thought that going into Kindergarten that would be enough.

Until she started struggling in Kindergarten which carried into first grade. At age 6.5, she can still barely read. She can spell great which is a mystery to me, but I've started to think that's just pure memorization. When it comes to applying that knowledge to reading a book, she's often lost.

Yes we've tested her eyes, and he teacher is finding a reading tutor for her at the school. We're on it.

But I still feel bad. I could have helped this. I could have been teaching her letters a lot more back when she was 4.

And now Charley is 4 and in the same boat. I worry about him going forward to Kindergarten. His speech is improving all the time, which is good...but now I've started giving him a daily 'homework' sheet which mostly includes writing his name over and over.

But when I show him the ABC cue cards, he only knows C.

I worry that this will be a struggle for both of our kids. Those other things we mastered without trouble. And I'm sure there's some Mom out there who's 4 year old can read but still poops their pants. It seems like there's a hang up for every family...and I've come to think this may be ours.

To each their own struggle.

Papaw Charley

Both kids had Grandparent's Day in their classroom this past week, on two separate days. Mom and Dad were both busy and not able to take off work, so we found ourselves grandparent-less. And honestly a little more notice from the school would have been helpful but they didn't give us much...maybe most grandparents are just hanging around with no plans, crocheting scarves? Not ours.None of them!

I didn't want the kids to be left out so I volunteered to be a classroom helper for K4, and then on Friday Charley and I had the permission from Tessa's teacher to act as Mamaw and Papaw at her event. No one even batted an eye that Tessa's Papaw was younger than her.

The K4 class sang a few songs, did an art project and showed us the excitement of a four year old's recess break.

The older elementary had a little chapel program about the importance of grandparents, toured the classrooms, did some art and allowed us to take the kids off campus for lunch.

The kids had written little books about one of their grandparents and Tessa chose Mom. My favorite excerpt was.  "From you I learned....not to run by the campfire". Great words of wisdom. She also made it well known that Mamaw shops a lot, always buys her things and loves to go to the mall. Also true.

This is Tessa's future husband from what I hear. Charley has already accepted him as brother in law.

Instead of going to some awesome restaurant for our lunch break, we chose the Super Target food court where Tessa enjoyed a personal pan pizza and icee. She was honestly blown away by the idea that you can eat at Target and then go shopping directly after.

A little bit of junk food and Target shopping never hurt. Especially when a new Junie B. Jones book and fall outfit is involved. And I know shopping is what Mamaw would have wanted.

Sunflowers are High and Summer is Over

The sunflower seeds that Tessa planted back in early April have grown tall and bloomed out beautifully, a sure sign that summer is almost over.

Of course the summer season isn't over for some time yet, but since we start school on August 7th, I'm going to go ahead and start calling it fall. 

Tessa is ready to start 1st grade and Charley will be going to Pre-K three mornings a week at the same school. It will be awfully convenient to take them to the same building rather than playing chauffeur like last year.

They both met their new teachers and saw their classrooms on Friday night and both seem pretty positive about starting school. We've had a fun summer but after 10 weeks, I think we're starting to get to that point where we're a little bored. Tessa had a playdate last week with two kindergarten friends and I think it reminded her how much she missed seeing them.

And Charley....well, I'm not worried about him adapting at all. He walked right up to his new teacher and said "hi, I Charley and dis is my class'. Yup, he'll be fine.

Last year Charley did gymnastics once a week while Tessa was in Kindergarten, and since her normal dance studio takes a long summer break...I told Tessa she could give it a try this summer too. Needless to say, she's in love. She's done so well that we've decided to let her continue in the fall (after some budget considerations).

That took a little tweaking of our weekly schedule to fit in, mostly because I'm a little anal about having 4 evenings a week completely free from obligations. But we worked it in just fine.

Yesterday we took down the kid's 'summer school' charts and celebrated with a final trip to Ella's frozen yogurt. They did pretty well considering they didn't always want to do it....the promise of frozen yogurt can make kids to crazy things. Like read.

Tomorrow I am taking the kids to the State Fair as one final horrah for the end of summer. We really have had a great couple of months, but summertime is up. Onward to fall!

Kindergarten Graduation

Last Thursday, Tessa's school had their Kindergarten Celebration ceremony. The kids did an awesome job singing and doing bible verses for us.

Look for Tessa's starring moment on the microphone at 3:20.


Tessa Kindergarten Program- May 2013 from Laura Sargent Bennington on Vimeo.

Each child got an award for the biblical characteristic they best portray. Tessa got the psalmist award for 'beautiful use of written and spoken word'. The teachers also gave them certificates with a 'most likely' job. Tessa was most likely to be an organic farmer! Yes!

I hope that happens and she can build a little spot on her farm for her parents and their vineyard. A mom can dream right?

The teachers read a little poem at the beginning that *almost* made me tear up. It basically said I'm giving your children back to you now, bigger and smarter than when we started. I also like the part where she said that if I see your child 10 years from now, we'll have a special place in our hearts for each other.

Coming from a family of educators, I know that's true. We'll always fondly remember Mrs. Andrews.

Next year we'll have a 1st grader and pre-K student at this school. Looking forward to it!

Last Day and Water Play

Friday was Tessa's last day of Kindergarten and Charley and I joined her at school for field day.

Among lots of other games, the kids pulled a pickup truck. See the kid in the middle who's just a little bit smaller than the rest? That was Charley thinking he was a big strong Kindergartener.

The coolness of the big kids didn't stop there. Charley got to have lunch at their table too. I've been there a few times for lunch, but always when Char was away in preschool. He didn't know just how fun lunch could be.

And interesting...did you know that there's a lunchable pack that comes with cold chicken nuggets? Gross right?

First year of school- check!

At the end of the day, I told Tessa that there was a surprise waiting for her in the back yard.

And there was....her Dad and brother armed with squirt guns. Since it was only like 63 degrees on Friday, it was WARM water.

Our water fight lasted about 10 minutes before a very tired Tessa fell down and burst into tears. We got into a warm bath and were in our pjs watching a movie by 4:30.

After a super busy last week of school, I guess we were all exhausted. Thankfully, lots of summer left for water guns.