From the Poop Files

There was the time that toddler Tessa ate some dog poop.

There was the time that baby Charley had a big red poop after eating beets and I thought he was hemorrhaging.

And many other undocumented poop incidents. Poop happens. Poop is life.

So, today was the day that Charley squatted like a dog and pooped on the lawn. 

I was watering my newly planted maters and came back around to the backyard to overhear Jeremy telling Charley...no you can PEE in the grass but you cannot POOP in the grass!! I spied a deposit in the grass that clearly, ahem...didn't belong to the dachshunds, and of course Charley's pants around his ankles were an obvious admission of guilt.

"But I'm a doggy!"  he said, with his little lip quivering.

Oh brother.

At least the neighbors didn't see him.

Underwear Fishing

...in the kitchen with  your sister's new Barbie fishing pole.

What's weird about that?

Family on Wheels

Tessa's birthday present from us was a new bike. Her old one had gotten too small for her and her poor knees were always whacking the handlebars. She now owns an 18 incher!

Charley got a bike for his birthday too but just recently figured out how to pedal it. He's been doing really well. He always wants a push to get started, but Mommy showing him a little 'tough love' and making him figure it out himself has paid off.

Yesterday we went round and round the cul-de-sac and he needed very little help (or maybe finally figured out he wasn't getting any).

Since they were riding so well by themselves, I got out my bike too! This old thing was dusty and flat tired in the garage for a long time, and Jeremy recently cleaned it up for me. 

Tessa desperately wants to go on a family ride but I don't think Charley is ready. We had a hard enough time getting to the stop sign and back without getting killed. Baby steps. Or pedals. Baby pedals.


Can I just say...my tooshie is sore today.

And now for some more photography by Tessa....

Tessa's 5th Birthday recap

Tessa's actual birthday was Wednesday (eventhough her party is tomorrow) and I told her that she was in charge of choosing what we do. I say she did quite well!

Her first request was to sleep in bed all night with me (Jeremy is out of town). We normally have a house rule that everyone sleeps in their own bed, but I made a birthday exception on Tuesday night. She was a better bedmate than I anticipated although she went to bed 2 hours later than normal which may have led to a little birthday crankiness.

Before we went anywhere, she needed a birthday bath with her brother.

Then we skyped Jeremy and he had left a present for her to open (The Lego Star Wars movie).

We went out to lunch. Originally she had picked McDonalds but I prompted her to pick something fancier. Mostly because I didn't want to eat McDonalds. She chose sushi at Kabuto. Much better!

I remember when I was a kid we would only ever order Pizza King pizza on my birthday. It was notoriously greasy and I think my parents hated it. But year after year that was my choice. My brother always chose chicken and dumplings.

 She had miso soup, rice, steamed dumplings and sushi. Charley mostly had rice with soy sauce. But he was happy.

And yet somehow they found room for popcorn. Tessa wanted to go to the movie theater (regardless of what we saw), and we got lucky that there is a new Three Stooges movie out. They have been watching the old black and white reruns on tv.

The movie version wasn't bad, but it wasn't great either. They didn't seem to care, although Tessa later told me that she had hoped she would laugh more. Me too.

The Marsh bakery provided our piece of strawberry cake (of which Mommy consumed none!). Yes I realize that there are only three candles there. Oh well. At least we had any at all....she could have ended up with a yankee votive on there.

She asked me when she would officially be five. I told her...you are! To which she made this face....

Mama's Fears

Last week we went to the zoo, and ventured into a section of the aquatic area that we normally never go. The dolphin death tunnel...

I let the kids run around, but as a rule I do not go in this thing. You're encapsulated by water on all sides and above, and movies have taught us that glass is never truly water tight. I mean you've seen Free Willy right? And Jaws 3?

So why would I let the kids go in if I'm afraid to? Well I guess there's part of me that thinks I shouldn't impart my own fears onto the kids. I mean if they aren't scared, then they are welcome to go in. That doesn't mean I don't stand at the entrance in a runner's stance ready to jump in and grab them when all hell breaks loose.

I'm not a real skeerdy person but like any normal human I have a few fears....

--Water tunnels and the sea life inside of them (even 'cute' dolphins). Sea creatures are terrifying.

-- Plane crashes, super tiny planes and helicopters. I do NOT do well in bad turbulence. Jeremy the frequent flyer is amused by my fear and actually studies black box recordings as a hobby. Ask him once how he accidentally made a mentally handicapped person cry by discussing crash statistics while on a plane. Go ahead ask him. 

-- LARGE things. I mean like supersized ships, skyscrapers, space shuttles. Anything on a ginormous scale makes me shake in my boots a bit. 

-- Covered bridges. No I'm not kidding. 

-- Nose bleeds. I just can't take them. Come to me with an arm lopped off and I'm fine. Don't come to me spewing blood from your nose. I might faint.

-- Losing the kids in a crowded place. Self explanatory.

Things I am NOT scared of....

-- Heights. If I refuse to go to the top of a skyscraper with you, do not be mistaken and think I'm afraid of heights. Refer to the list above. I'm scared of the magnitude and size of the building. And nearby aircraft. 

 -- Bodily functions. Snot, pus, blood, poop, vomit, sputum. Whatever. Unless it's a nose bleed. 

-- Bugs. I could care less about spiders and other bugs. I guess I've got enough 'country' in me that I've seen it all. Not a fan of the praying mantis though cause it's more like an alien than a bug. Do you know they can rotate their head 360? Creepy. 

-- Other creepy crawlies like snakes and mice. I wouldn't love to see a snake in my backyard but I wouldn't lose my head either.

-- The afterlife. I know where I'm headed. 

-- Pain. Bring it. 

-- Shots, needles, IVs, speculums, catheters, colonoscopies, dental drills and titanium screws. I've experienced them all and they were all relatively harmless. 
  

See. I'm one tough lady. Oh crap....Tessa, a DOLPHIN behind you!!!!

Cashing In

I had written before collecting beans for happy hearts and not whining. Well, both kids have really taken to the idea and have pretty much filled up their first round. Many beans have been lost for whining or complaining, but many more have been earned.

They were promised a prize each time...either an event, special restaurant or reasonably priced toy. Tessa changed her mind every day...a pet fish, girly legos, a trip to Disneyworld (as if), and most recently a camp out in a tent in the backyard with Daddy (because with Mommy's back and allergies, a camp out in the back yard might actually kill her).

I really liked that idea and started mentally arranging who we would borrow camping gear from, until Jeremy pointed out to me that it's still in the 30's and 40's at night around here. I told Tessa that when she fills up her NEXT jar that we WILL plan a camp out, but that she needed to allot this reward to something else.

On our trip to the zoo yesterday she figured out what it was. A very cute stuffed meerkat.

Tessa's affection for meerkats started last summer. There was one weekend that we were all sick so we laid around and watched episode after episode of the Discovery show 'Meerkat Manor'. When the matriarch, named Flower, got eaten by a rattle snake Tessa actually cried and then asked to watch the episode again...which began a very short fascination with death and heaven.

She originally asked to be a meerkat last Halloween but even after scouring the internet, I couldn't find one in her size. She was a pretty good super girl though, so it all worked out.

Anyway, she named her new toy Flower of course, and when we got home we emptied the bean jar to start again.

Charley is close to full and still holding out for a trip to the movie theater. I'm hoping it will line up right in time for that documentary about the baby chimp.

By the way, blogger keeps telling me that meerkat is not a word. I double checked. It totally is.

Can You Read Me Now?

Cheeser

Easter Weekend Recap

We had a really great Easter weekend. One of the best I can remember.

Friday the kids and I went to see a real life crucifix reenactment. It went on for 12 hours with a real person hanging on. I'm assuming they rotated the position? Either way the kids were really impressed by it and I think it was a good way to show them what the cross really looked like. Later in the day we drove by it again per Tessa's request.

Saturday we had breakfast at Sophias followed by several hours at church doing an egg hunt all kinds of other festivities...face painting, bounce houses, games, and Jeremy's newly acquired favorite hobby,  balloon animals (the bonus of him acquiring this hobby would be free bday party entertainment!) 

Saturday afternoon my stylist Keely came by the house to dye my hair and give the whole family haircuts. It ended up that way because she is currently between salons, but I'm thinking I kinda like it. Everyone gets beautified at once and it's all in the comfort of our own yard. I think this is how the celebrities do it.

My only complaint is that Jeremy's hair is so thick and furry that it stuck to the patio and couldn't be swept away. I wonder if that happens to the celebs too.

We also used the method we adopted last year to make silk dyed Easter eggs out of old ties.

Sunday we got up and did baskets. I took pictures of them and they accidentally got deleted :(

I took pics of the kids hunting and enjoying their baskets and they accidentally got deleted :(

Boo hoo. But I can't really complain. It's not like I don't have 50,000 pics of my kids doing cool stuff. I'll live.

Then we headed down the farm and stayed all day and into the evening. It was a beautiful day and we spent most of it outside enjoying the farm. We even had a cookout this year and ate burgers on the deck like it was summertime. 

Jeremy and I were there but for some reason we didn't appear in any of Mom's pictures. Maybe we were too busy blowing things up.

That's my first target ever. Not bad huh? I really wanted to shoot at marshmallow peeps but nobody else was feeling it. I mean c'mon, wouldn't that have been funny?